Does it seem possible to you that with all the enthusiasm I put into this blog (though it has been a while, and I apologize for being out of touch), that I am experiencing a little fatigue, as it were, of online dating. Again, pull yourselves off the floor because the answer is unfortunately yes.
I had a nice two dates with the man who liked my profile on Fitness and though there were nothing wrong with either of us, and certainly, we liked each other, the rest was sort of just what it was. Meaningless, I know, but perhaps descriptive.
I’ve been trudging through the sites, getting myself off a number of them and need to give you the tote board at this point: still on Eharmony, though couldn’t be less impressed, Match has its moments, my old stand-by OkCupid (made even more hip because Julian Assange was once on it!) and Matchmaker, which is proving also to be less than satisfactory. I put myself on that particular site because I had received 99 messages, do you hear??? 99 messages!!! and not one of any interest, either because they were writing from Wales (WHY???) or too young, too old, rode Harley’s, lived in “man-caves” and, not to seem mean-spirited, too dumb. Yes, I know, that was mean-spirited, but for heaven sakes people, SPELL CHECK.
I’m permanently off POF and eVow. I also decided that Jdate, for whatever reason just wasn’t making headway for me. Perhaps, in the future, I’ll consult Yenta the Matchmaker if I really want a Jewish guy.
Which brings me to something pervasive and, frankly, annoying. I’ve written about this before, but now am joining what I hope is the good fight.
Yes, it’s the scammers!
Those guys (or whatever trolls these are) who post attractive, sometimes model like photos, very literate profiles designed to entice and then, when you contact them, write the most alarmingly dumb-ass drivel it has ever been my displeasure to read. In the various different cases, I’m guessing, among other things, that English was NOT their first language, OR it is 14 and 15 year olds spending an amusing Saturday afternoon without parental supervision.
This most recently happened three times on Match. Since I’ve been assiduously reading up on this, I have an excellent idea of what constitutes a phony profile. Let me give you the sad rundown.
Bachelor #1 was very good looking and affable – and charmingly photographed with a cute little dog. However, after I contacted him, the first thing he said is to write to him at his private email. I, knowing this BIG RED FLAG, said I'd prefer to communicate on the site. He also gushed away in the first message, saying things like he must have joined the site just so he could meet me...and that I should take a leap. I've actually heard that before (and not just in Kierkegaard). In his second email he said that he was in England and that he had written in his profile that he was relocating. Uh… NO. Nothing in the profile about living in another country. However, wasn’t I lucky that he’d be moving here in about 5 weeks? Then, again, wanted to get on private email as he was "deactivating" his account that afternoon. Believe it or not, I’ve heard the 5-week number before, so I reported him.
Prospect #2 had a nice look also and a rather sweet profile where he was pictured with his child. When I wrote to him, he GUSHED in such fractured English that I was, to put it mildly, suspicious, since his profile had been written in normal American syntax. I reported him.
Hunk #3 “winked” at me. (Have I mentioned how much I hate “winks”? They are definitely the coward’s way out like “icebreakers”, etc., etc., I scorn them, but I think you know by now I’m a hypocrite. So, yes, I’ve done it.) I looked at his profile and in one sentence he said he was in Afghanistan and in the next in Iraq. He confided in the world that he couldn’t tell us what he was doing there. He also said he was 6'11" and his pictures were date stamped 8 years ago!! I asked him if he was really 6'11" and did he realize his pictures were 8 years old? No answer. I reported him.
I reported these three “profiles” to Match and I was correct ALL THREE TIMES. I know, in this life there is much to be proud of, but being proud of this…well, my friends, it’s what I’ve come to… (sorry about ending that with a preposition!).
All three have been deactivated.
In other news, I keep on a daily habit of perusing the websites. I have tried to write several times a week if not more on each one. However, there have been no dates for a little over a week. Maybe that’s good. Gives me time to catch my breath and be glad it’s getting near Spring. I am optimistic (aren’t I always) that people will emerge from their hibernation soon and wake up to the fact that it’s time to connect.
Can you blame me for feeling some dating fatigue at this point?
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