IN WHICH I DEFEND MYSELF AGAINST THE SELF-ABSORPTION CHARGE or THE URGE

I am shocked, SHOCKED.  (Really taken aback!) 

I’ve let one date and some other men read my blog and two of them came back with the charge that I am self-absorbed.  I think if you ask most of my friends you will find that this is absolutely not the case. I am one of the least self-centered people I know.

So what is it?  I asked one gentleman and after thinking about it for a while he came up with the idea that all I was doing was writing about myself. 

IT’S MY BLOG ABOUT MY EXPERIENCES WITH ONLINE DATING!  WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO BE WRITING ABOUT?? FISH?

All right, I’m calm now.  Just had to get it out.  Breathe.

Well, as usual I was wrong.  I was sure that there would be New Years Resolutions galore.  That all were ready to meet their beshert (the one for whom they are destined – how romantic), however, that seems not to be the case.  I am now of the opinion that people are hibernating and possibly just opening their eyes and stretching their limbs hoping for a warm summer, so I am once again optimistic…as usual.

I continue to be on Match, however, I have let my subscriptions run out on Matchmaker.com, which was totally useless, hardly better than that free site that shall now go nameless.  Oddly enough, my fellow non-blogger is having the most marvelous success on Eharmony, and for me it’s been a total bust so that, too, is now being let go the wayside. 

As well, I’m still on OKcupid and am currently just about ready to meet a guy from around my vicinity.  It’s so appealing to not have to figure out logistics of long distance things. (One guy from Matchmaker was writing from Colorado, and I just wasn’t up for it.  He was going for the old saw that distance doesn’t matter if the connection is there, but why look for trouble? Besides he didn’t post a photo… that’s just a non-starter as far as I’m concerned.)

Continuing the story a few days later, we met for what I now consider my boilerplate date.  A Coffee Bean, a sunny afternoon, me purchasing the green tea and a nice guy once again, but no URGE.  Now what is URGE??  I will get to that in due course.

I was thinking of joining Zoosk, and about to sign up when I clicked for payment and saw they had the nerve to want to charge me a one-time activation fee.  Well, I wrote them in a complete huff and said, waive the fee, pointing out that no one else does this.  As I was writing this, lo and behold, they came back with the waiver.  Good for them, but really they shouldn’t do it, so if you’re tempted to join the site, tell them you don’t want to pay that particular fee. 

Zoosk is a site that I think has some connection to Facebook.  It looks to me like a lot of people register on there and flirt away, but don’t pay.  If you flirt, they allow you about one message exchange before they want your credit card.

And if someone could answer a question, what is it with these “gifts”?  They have those on OKCupid as well, and frankly, I don’ t see the point. You extend an Internet rose.  All right I get it, you’re on the Internet you’re hoping to get a relationship from the Internet so why not give Internet gifts? 

Why? Because it’s STUPID!!  It makes no realistic sense.

Even dumber is that people pay for the privilege of giving that Internet bottle of champagne.  You all realize these never materialize they are just pretend.

I despair.

So far on Zoosk, a bit of eye candy.  I am slightly but not TOO suspicious that these two may be a case of someone (either spammer, 14 or 15 year old) posting to have fun and be a nuisance.  However, we’ll see. I will say in both cases they contacted me.  One is a little far down in Huntington Beach and the other one is in Massachusetts.

The Dane in HB says that he’s moving up here in June and wants to know if I like sailing.  Remembering that I am, of course, the in-doors type, I said yes though I have a tendency to seasickness.  No point putting him off just yet.

The Massachusetts guy has intelligently figured out that the distance may just be too great.  He gets lots of credit for such an assessment.

Match is yielding a drinks date sometime at the end of the week.  This guy is in great shape – excellent biceps, etc.  Yes, I may be shallow, I have already admitted this, but I still don’t think that comes down to self-absorption.

Being a tad defensive here, I will stop now.

No I did not forget.  I wish to explain the URGE.  I went to London for a Royal History weekend a couple of weeks ago.  One excellent speaker talked about a young lady who was a governess to the children of an Arch Duke and a Princess.  This was just before the Second World War, and the bulk of the talk concerned this girl’s letters home to her parents.  Her descriptions of her life with the Arch Ducal family were quite fascinating and her insights were very frank.  In particular it was apparent that she had a crush on said Arch Duke.  He had, she explained to her mother, URGE. It’s certainly obvious enough what she was talking about and I hope mom got it.

Have to say I just LOVE this and plan on using it at every opportunity.  So much more – well urgent than just saying someone has sex appeal.  For me, the only guy these many months that’s had URGE is One Syllable.  However, I know more is out there, and I’m going to find it!